Being plagued by bipolar, hypomania, depression, and other mental illnesses for your entire life leaves you constantly wondering if this is it in terms of depression. Is this the limit of my thoughts and brain? Is this the depression I die from by hanging myself?
And what’s worse, those close to you could inadvertently wonder if this is the last time they will have to listen to you sob on the phone. Will they ever again witness your depression? Will they need to be afraid of you any longer? Ah, the truth of mental illness, a delight for all.
I do wonder about the connection between depression and suicide. I don’t let anyone know I wonder about this, and if they do, I skillfully allay their worries by telling them not to worry (and they shouldn’t, there’s no sense). One of my abilities is to allay worries. Their concern today would have had no other effect than to ruin their meal if I did, in fact, commit suicide tomorrow.
I still find it unsettling to think of the recent despair and suicide.[push]There is still a dim optimism that won’t go away that I might truly accomplish something worthwhile with my life. Okay, I’ll concede it’s implausible; as I said, it’s only a hazy wish.
There isn’t really a rational reason to continue living other than to suggest that there will likely be plenty of time to pass away in the future and there is no purpose in hastening the process in any way. More antipsychotics, anticonvulsants, tricyclic, MAOI antidepressants, as well as spravato treatment for depression, may be suggested by your doctor.
The will to live is a biological feature shared by all individuals. The motivation for all life is self-preservation, followed by procreation, of course. Obviously, this is a biological necessity. Suicide is like a 12-car pileup on the highway.
In other words, if I decided to settle a large number of life forms on a planet, I would ensure that they had a stake in remaining there as well. I did go through the trouble of putting them there in the first place, after all. I am aware that individuals are created to live longer, not die younger. It comes naturally.
However, humans frequently resist their biological desires. In actuality, that is what civilization is intended to do. Therefore, even if it may be the most engrained biological drive, survival can certainly be disregarded. And nobody disregards a biological necessity as I do. I abandoned humanity in my previous lifetime.
One is that you have a record of what is happening to you objectively. You’ll be asked by your doctor, “How are you feeling?” (which is the most ridiculous question ever), and you must be able to respond. It’s more difficult than it seems. Do you feel more or less anxious? Which negative consequences have you observed? How long have these events been occurring? Which type of pain? How much more depressed are you than before? Irritation? Mania? level of energy? And it would be helpful if you could respond to all of it in no more than two minutes.
Two, you’ll have a historical record, so you’ll know what to tell the new doctor when you change doctors. Do you really believe your new doctor will go through the old one’s files? Well, perhaps, but perhaps not. If YOU can respond to their inquiries and serve as their official record, it will be so much better.
Then you are certain that it is true and correct. You won’t remember what occurred with THIS antidepressant and THIS mood stabilizer combination 17 medicines from now, I assure you. You simply won’t.
Even while it happens in all areas of medicine, patient blaming is particularly common in the mental health sector. Nobody would ever think, “That chemotherapy didn’t work because you’re too attached to being a cancer patient.”
